Where is the love, the love, the love?

So I've been wanting to write on this for sometime now but I've always found it kind of hard to marshal ALL my thoughts on THIS particular subject:P Anyway, I saw a certain ad while watching TV the other day (I've posted it's video below), and it riled me up enough to (finally) blog about something that's been bothering me for the past-I dunno-how many years. 

Okay so if you're like me and haven't bothered playing the video, I'll sum it up for you. The ad starts with a rishta scene typical to many Pakistani households; two families hanging out in the 'drawing room' for tea, aiming to set up their kids together, making awkward small talk while the prospective groom sulks between his parents, shuffling his feet, waiting for the girl to be trotted out for him to check out and deem marriage-worthy. Whoever came up with this creative ad had enough vision to include an irritating aunt in the scene who spews out a list of wonderful feminine qualities her niece possesses, making her all the more marriageable, at alarming speed. The guy's parents insist on having the girl brought out, but lo and behold, instead of a demure, breathtakingly beautiful girl they had been anticipating, what they see behind the tea tray is a gorilla. *Gasp* Oh the horror. The guy promptly faints.

Gorillas aren't all that foreign, you know..anybody here seen Tarzan? And as my sister pointed out, the guy looked remarkably like a monkey himself and that was without any editing. I'm just saying. 

Anyway, in the end, the girl's dad calms everybody down and says his daughter only looks like a gorilla because of her 'untimely hunger'. Ha, of course. Makes total sense. Say, now that I think about it, aren't MEN supposed to be cranky when they're hungry? (I'm not trying to be a sexist, just stating what I've always heard.)

The girl's dad throws her a Perk (OH, so that's what they're advertising, a chocolate wafer biscuit, duh) and she turns back into a human. The guy faints again as the ad mercifully comes to an end because the girl's irritating aunt proclaims that the 'rishta' is 'pakka' or confirmed. 

Btw, WOW. What a coincidence, there's some talk show coming on TV right now and wouldn't you know it, their topic of discussion is shaadi, shaadi, SHAADI. Um, hello? Aren't there more pressing concerns in our society at the moment, what with the insanely complicated political atmosphere and Imran Khan entering the field and Zardari being treated in a hospital in Dubai and global warming, and just, well EVERYTHING ELSE. But a talk show on marriage? NO, GOD, NO. 

Maybe I'm reading too much into this ad and maybe it's just that I don't much care for our society's traditions, especially when it comes to marriage. Either way, I just didn't like the impression an outsider would take away after watching it.That for two Pakistanis to be married, the girl must first be approved of by the guy and his family, and there's no mention of it being the other way around (at least in the ad), that she must be really pretty and that on no account, should she resemble a gorilla (okay fiiine, I suppose that goes without saying), that some of the qualities that make a girl marriage-worthy is that she should be shy and fragile and yes, she must be able to cook. ARGH.

And whatever happened to love? Maybe I watched one too many Disney Princess movies, but I always thought marriage was the inevitable consequence of love, not the other way around! I remember when I had to read Jane Eyre (the adapted version) for my grade 7 finals, one of my favourite parts was when St. John asks Jane to marry him, and accompany him to India on missionary work. St. John was of the opinion that marriage was just a practical, convenient, working system, with 'feelings' taking the sidelines, as he says to Jane after asking for her hand in marriage, "..and undoubtedly, enough of love would follow upon marriage to render the union right even in your eyes."But Jane Eyre being who she was, and still in love with Mr. Rochester replied, "I scorn your idea of love...I scorn the counterfeit sentiment you offer: yes, St. John, and I scorn you when you offer it." That line has stuck with me all these years. I wasn't very old but I was sure Jane had it right.

I might be wrong, and I might have simply met the wrong people during all the time I've spent here, but to me it seems like nobody, NOBODY takes love seriously in this country, or should I say 'love before marriage'. I don't like treating them as two separate emotions, but that's what the society would have you believe. Yes, I know people do indeed end up loving each other after they get married, but it's also very possible for two people to fall in love, and THEN get married. I know of people who dated randomly back in school who are now engaged to suitable matches handpicked by their parents. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I just wish people would stop being hypocrites. I clearly recall a girl from school telling a guy how when it came to the M word, it'd be decided entirely by her parents. And this girl, well, she'd had about three boyfriends during our time in school, so yeah. There are people who play the field for fun, to have a good time, but oh boy, you bring up the M word, and they're complete mama's boys and daddy's girls. Then again, since everyone is equally guilty, it's only the poor unfortunate people like me, who're silly enough to take love seriously that get in trouble.

Wow this post has gotten so long, and I still feel like I've got a lot more to say. But I think I'll stop now, and make the rest into a Part 2:P I have no idea what's in line for me, hell, who knows maybe I'll be in the same situation as that poor girl in the ad, I mean, I do have Pakistani parents, after all, who happen to be very much a part of Pakistani society. No matter what happens though, I will always, always believe in love. It's not a shameful, embarrassing emotion as some old aunties would have you believe. As corny as this sounds, it's definitely what makes this tired old world go round.